Shedding Light on the Challenges of Parenthood:My Thoughts as a Kawaii Mom
By: Momo Kumo
Hello, my name is Momo Kumo!
I use the term “Kawaii Mom,” which means that I enjoy j-fashion and the life of a mother. Before becoming a parent, I would get many compliments on my choice of clothing, but afterward—even during pregnancy—the dynamic between my freedom and choice of clothing began to change. Instead of compliments, I was given judgemental looks, and though I’d been to cons where I cosplayed and often wore kawaii clothing, people were shocked to learn that I was now a mom. For some reason, society has created a stigma around parenthood: once you become one, let alone a mom, you are supposed to be stripped of all your hobbies and interests. I thought about this for a while, and it was agonizing to feel as though we weren’t allowed to be ourselves simply because we’re parents.
Prior to motherhood, I went through a long phase of overthinking. I felt as though I didn’t look good in any colors or different pieces of clothing. It took me years to achieve a level of confidence where I could dress how I please and be true to what I feel in my heart. After having my daughter, I suffered through postpartum depression which complicated my relationship with fashion. I still had so much weight on me, and this was a huge transition for anyone to embark on. At one point I allowed society to take a toll on me, without expressing myself. I wasn’t putting makeup on, I wasn’t able to enjoy the hobbies I loved, I didn’t dress up for quite a while until I realized the value of my identity. At the end of the day, my daughter is the most important part of my life. She brings such a strong form of love into my heart—a pure joy to be alive. I wanted to prioritize both her and my love of j-fashion.
Finding balance after bringing a baby home can be quite challenging, to say the least, and you should never put yourself down when you feel like you’ve made mistakes as a new parent. As a mom, I know I need to do the things that make me happy and take care of my well-being. We need to be happy in order for our children to be happy. Our children feel what we feel, so we should always take time for ourselves to ensure that our relationship is strong.
We all have different ways of expressing self-love and relaxation. Mine just happen to be fashion, makeup, cosplay, and anime watch parties with my partner. It’s the little things in life that put me in a state of euphoria. We shouldn’t think or feel that we’re asking for the universe when we decide to take some alone time. It’s okay to do something nice for ourselves.
I am living proof that you can have colorful hair, sparkles on your face, hair clips galore, rainbow nails, and still be a kind and loving mother. We can wear whatever we want, and as long as we take care of our children and raise them to have love in their hearts, I think that’s all that matters at the end of the day. I want my daughter to know that she is capable of anything, and that fashion is a great way to express how we feel. If we want to dress up just because, then that’s okay too!
To those who are in our community, don’t ever change yourself just because you are becoming a tiny person's mom or dad. That should not define you as a whole. You are still your own person, and now you are leading a baby through life. If you can use the light of your quirky fashion to help raise your child, then go for it.
Author Bio: Momo Kumo is a Kawaii Mom and Mental Health Advocate from Pennsylvania. She has made her positive pastel lifestyle a reality, by taking one day at a time with self-love and acceptance. Her journey in writing is to show others that we are all capable of what we aspire to be, and that our mental illnesses do not define us as a whole. Momo shows that being invested in the fashion world, and being a parent all in one, is possible and can be a reality. You can find her work at https://smolmomokumo.wordpress.com/ and social media @_momokumo_