A Body for Jfashion

The moment I was drawn to Jfashion, a lot of things changed. That included how I perceive myself and caused me to challenge my limits. For a long time, I thought fashion was limited by what a collective body of people dictated it to be. As I entered the world of Jfashion, I saw "self-made beauty." It's a fashion that makes you choose your interpretation of beauty and art. Something is compelling about walking out into the world and saying, "this is beautiful, and you can't say otherwise." I really found something healing about Jfashion, but there was also a cost to that discovery.

What Started in Pastel Pink

Chicago Meet 2020

[ALT TEXT'] - Image Description: Jadedisland in a pink striped dress, with an assortment of valentine themed hair clips in cotton candy curly hair, holding her hands in the shape of a heart

I've heard over the years from people (often older than me) that I shouldn't wear specific colors. It's disheartening to listen to words like this no matter whom it comes from. Growing up black and finding discomfort in the experience of your skin tone is hard enough. In Jfashion, alongside exploring my personal style and fashion preferences, I started to choose my colors. Plenty of days, I felt like I was on a mission to prove the beauty of melanin to the world, and how color loves our skin. Perhaps it was an act of mental revenge against the naysayers who reminded me that as a Black Girl, I needed to dress a specific way to avoid attention. I thought about that concept over the years. Who was I supposedly preventing attention from, and why did that matter for my fashion? I learned the answer over time and through experience.

Jfashion felt different on my skin. It became a curated, fully clad armor against the world. I adored that what I was wearing was a statement, my personality, and my love of life all bound by a coordinated thought pattern. I choose colors that made me feel loud, made me feel beautiful, and made me feel whimsical. The more I committed to a life in colorful fashion, the more I came to love the skin I am in. It's a constant cycle of reaffirming the beauty of my skin and proving that I can wear any color I choose. I had days where my heartfelt solely committed to pink and others that required more than that. My skin became a canvas to play with color and explore storytelling through fashion.

Playing with Color and Confidence

The next step in my Jfashion body positivity came through confidence. While I was busy challenging the worldly statements about skin with melanin versus colors, I was also learning to be comfortable with my body. I'm obsessively picky about my bodily imperfections both inside and out. The nitpicky quality I have towards my body shows itself in different ways and occasionally trickles into how I dress. There were a lot of days where I wanted to hide everything about my body away. This was a state of being trapped in your skin and wanting to claw out of it.

One odd morning I put on a pretty piece of pink, and when I looked at the mirror, I didn't see my daily does of a demon. I saw myself. Sure, I wasn't perfect, I wasn't an ideal body type or anything like that. I was just me in a pink dress and pink hair and felt at peace. There was something special about looking at the adornment and bright colors and seeing what I made with fashion. I stopped seeing the imperfect body and saw art. I saw my story. I noticed that despite the horrors of yesterday, I was here in pink. It didn't matter that my eyes are failing, or that my lungs like to stop working. In this small moment, I took the imperfect body and created something beautiful. That's what Jfashion is for me, and what it did for me. I'm not saying it cured my mental anguish, but it helps. It helps me find comfort in an imperfect body and walk outside with my head raised slightly higher.

Each time I transform into the magical girl that I create, I feel like I can fight more. I can fight for my health, my spirit, and my creativity. Ten years ago, I would never have thought that I would be this colorful person and live this lifestyle. I look through pictures of myself and see the effort to create this magical life and feel better? Have you ever looked at your coord or O.O.T.D's and thought about how beautiful it was to be in that visual experience? To be the person you wish to be for only a moment. Only to later realize that you don't have to long for it anymore, you're already doing it. You are that person, it's your coord, it's you wearing that. One thing about the Jfashion spirit that I love is that it isn't just encouraging yourself; you also inspire others. People who didn't feel safe to wear what they like or explore fashion so vividly. I love the comradely that Jfashion brings.

The Truth About Our Bodies

I'm still working through self-love and acceptance for my body. As much as I wish I could magical girl spin into forever confidence and self-love, it does take work. Advocating for myself is not as easy as it seems. In the fight for space in alternative fashion groups, I've found that while I'm on track for accepting the skin, I'm in, many aren't or want nothing to do with a Jfashion voice like mine. I'm not one to bow to Eurocentric standards anymore, and even within Jfashion that comes out of Japan, the standard favors those ideals. It can be a little sickening to see that the faces of western Jfashion (anything outside of Japan) still prefer erasure of bodies that do not match the Eurocentric standard. Not everyone in Jfashion lacks melanin, has straight hair, is able-bodied, or the same body size. As diverse as the western side of Jfashion is, why aren't we seeing that human diversity in brands, ads, and getting recognition? What do writers in the fashion industry lack that they don't understand or allow that diversity into these spaces? If my failing eyes can recognize the plethora of diversity in western Jfashion, what's stopping them? We exist, and what will it take for that existence to be normalized.

The uptick in body positivity is just on the outskirts of alternative fashion. Where some wins come in like my 28 Days of Black Jfashion, there is so much work to be done. I hate to quote Pyotr from Carole & Tuesday but, in his song "Love yourself," I resonated hard with those lyrics. Listen to it and come back to this post. I don't think Jfashion has reached a state of full-body positivity, not in the inclusive way it should for all body types. This alternative lifestyle is composed of many stories, backgrounds, and experiences, and we are only just beginning to recognize or acknowledge it.

I still hear those words. The ones that float out of ignorance and say, "You shouldn't wear that because." Quit dictating the life of another person because it makes you uncomfortable with change or freedom. I can wear this fashion. I'll wear my colors, show as much or little skin as I would like, and my hair is none of your business. Let me exist in the self-made fashion that I create with Jfashion. My age, my body size, my skin tone, my hair type doesn't limit me. They build upon my story, showcase my art, and the journey I've had as the unique individual I am. I do not need your permission to exist in the fashion that makes me feel like my best self, and you can't take that away from me.

[ALT TEXT'] - Image Description: Jadedisland in a pink striped dress, with an assortment of valentine themed hair clips in cotton candy curly hair, holding her hand forward in a greeting

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